It’s customary to give gifts to couples on the verge of embarking on their journey together. Selecting something that could enhance their shared life is a common practice, as is choosing a heartfelt item that transcends monetary value.
I remember my own wedding day vividly, including the months that followed when various vouchers remained unclaimed and household items waited to be organized. This made the tale of Kathy and Brandon Gunn particularly intriguing to me. Despite being married for nine years, they had yet to unwrap one final wedding gift.
This gift, tucked away in a white box, sat untouched on a shelf in their closet. It had been given to them by Aunt Alison, a beloved relative of the bride, and an envelope attached to the package bore the words: “Do not open until your first disagreement.” When Aunt Alison presented the gift to the couple from Michigan, they made a pact to respect her wishes and not to touch it until the time was right.
Naturally, they experienced their fair share of disagreements and moments of tension over the years, like many partnerships do, yet they consistently chose not to unveil the contents of the box for reasons beyond her original intention.
In a note authored by Kathy, she elaborated on why they kept the box closed: “Throughout our nine years together, we faced numerous conflicts, intense discussions, and even moments when we thought about walking away. Still, the box remained untouched.”
I genuinely believe that we both steered clear of the fallback option, as it would have represented our defeat. For us, it would imply that we lacked the resilience to nurture our partnership—an idea that neither of us could accept. Instead, we found ourselves re-evaluating our circumstances. Was it truly the right moment to resort to that option? What if this isn’t the most challenging obstacle we face? What if something even tougher lies ahead, and we haven’t prepared for it? As my Great Uncle Bill often said, “Things can always take a turn for the worse.
That evening, everything took a turn. Kathy and Brandon had settled their two little ones for the night and were savoring a glass of wine together. As they chatted about an upcoming wedding in Kalamazoo—the very place where their paths had crossed during their college days—their conversation turned lively.
In the midst of their enthusiastic exchange, they started brainstorming gift ideas for the newlyweds. It was during this spirited dialogue that Kathy’s mind drifted back to the special day of their own vows, recalling a gift that had made a significant impact on them.
Kathy chuckled as she reminisced, “The Most Meaningful Surprise Had Remained Hidden Away, Gathering Dust In A Closet…”
Posted by Kathy Hocter Gunn on Sunday, December 10, 2017
For nearly a decade and through three different homes, the couple had hesitated to uncover the mystery of the box, uncertain if they might one day find a reason to need its contents.
Posted by Kathy Hocter Gunn on Saturday, August 29, 2015
But on that particular evening, as they chatted about their friends’ upcoming celebration, they finally decided it was time to unveil the long-forgotten treasure.
Inside, they discovered two heartfelt notes—one for Barndon and one for Kathy—along with some cash.
“Treat yourselves to a pizza, shrimp, or any of your favorites,” read Kathy’s note, while Brandon’s urged him to “Pick Up Some Flowers And A Bottle Of Wine.”
In the room, a delicate vase made of shimmering glass stood alongside two elegant goblets. There were also fragrant soaps, rich lotions, and a bottle of bubbly foam, all intended to support Kathy and Brandon through any discord or challenges they encountered.
However, for Kathy, it was not the physical items that held significance; rather, it was the profound meaning behind the act of receiving them.
“We believed that the treasures inside that container were the answer to maintaining harmony in our partnership—a timeless secret that eluded us as novices,” Kathy shared. “After all, my Great Aunt and Uncle celebrated almost fifty years together. So, we hoped that this container would safeguard ‘us’—and in a sense, it did.”
With the container always within reach, it became a lesson in patience, empathy, and compromise, guiding the couple away from impulsively seeking its comfort in moments of tension.
In the end, they didn’t have to open the box when they were struggling, but rather when their marriage was strong.